A PHIL BRODIE BAND'S FUN PAGE
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Whether the weather be cold
Rosco the rum runner rubbed out Rudy the rat
* I slit the sheet, the sheet I slit;
and on the slitted sheet I sit.
* My dame hath a lame tame crane.
My dame hath a crane that is lame.
Oh gentle Jane, doth my dame's lame tame crane
leave and come home again?
* Sinful Caesar sipped his snifter, seized his knees, and sneezed.
* Twelve twins twirled twelve twigs.
* Sushi sous-chef Shropshire shrew Sue sushis shimmer
* Three switched witches watch three Swatch watch switches.
Which switched witch watch which Swatch watch switch?
* Moses supposes his toeses are roses,
but Moses supposes erroneously;
for nobody's toeses are poses of roses,
as Moses supposes his toeses to be.
* A three-toed tree toad loved a two-toed he-toad that lived in a too-tall tree.
* Strict strong stringy Stephen Stretch slickly snared six sickly silky snakes.
* One was a racehorse, Two was one too. One won a race, Two won one too.
* Sure this shop stocks short socks with spots. This shop stocks boxed sport socks, short flocked black socks, chic slack silk socks, and slick taut flax socks. We've racks of sharp black-backed blocked Scots socks, and stacks of posh knit lush cropped-top socks. This shop's short-topped sock stock's tops.
* If a noisy noise annoys an onion, an annoying noisy noise annoys an onion more!
A Tatimus took two tees to tie to the tops of two tall trees. If Titimus
A Tatimus took two tees to tie to the tops of two tall trees, where's
the two tees Titimus A Tatimus took?
The instinct of an extinct insect stinks.
* A box of biscuits, a box of mixed biscuits, and a biscuit mixer
I want to put a hyphen between the words Fish and And and Chips in my
* One One was a racehorse. Two Two was one, too. When One One won one race, Two Two won one, too.
She, where he had had had, had had had had. Had had had had the approval
of the examiner.
* The embarrassed banished barrister balances his embarrassed banished ballast on the banister.
* The winkle ship sank and the shrimp ship swam.
One smart fellow, he felt smart
tooter who taught to toot
Pauline Perkins slurps a pork popsicle
a mother pheasant plucker. I pluck mother pheasants.
One woman wore one hundred wippy wrist watches
mother to her son did utter
* Flee from fog to fight flu fast!
Two Boot Blacks: a White Boot Black and a Black Boot Black stood together
doing nothing. The White Boot Black proposed that he should black the
boots of the Black Boot Black.
Vincent Vanessa vowed vengeance very vehemently.
* Lesser leather never weathered wetter weather better.
One hedgehog hedged up the hedge,
* A noisy noise annoys an oyster.
* Friendly Frank flips fine flapjacks.
bitter biting bittern
* Gertie's great-grandma grew aghast at Gertie's grammar.
How many moose might a mini-mouse move
I thought a thought. But the thought I thought
A big black bug bit a big black bear
tutor who tooted the flute
Ned Nott was
shot and Sam Shott was not.
On mules we find two legs behind
a Hottentot taught a Hottentot tot
* Two Boot Blacks: a White Boot Black and a Black Boot Black stood together doing nothing.
The White Boot Black
proposed that he should black both boots of the Black Boot Black. The
Black Boot Black refused point blank to have his boots blacked by the
White Boot Black and said he didnt care whether the White Boot Black
blacked the other boot black or not. He considered that a Black Boot Black
with one boot blacked was better than a White Boot Black with no boots
When the White Boot Black
began blacking the character of the Black Boot Black, the Black Boot Black
began blacking the face of the White Boot Black all black with the blacking
on the boot the White Boot Black had blacked and the White Boot Black
blacked the Black Boot Black back.
* 'Surely Sylvia swims!' shrieked Sammy, surprised, 'Somebody should show Sylvia some strokes so she shall not sink!'
fellow, he felt smart. Two smart fellows, they felt smart.
* "Too Sit In Solemn Silence In A Dull Dark Dock, In A Pestilential (SP) prison with a life long lock. Awaiting The Sensation Of A Short, Sharp Shock, With a Cheap and chippy chopper on a big black block"
* Thirty thrifty whistling washers witchingly whistling, wishing washing was washed
* At present May cant marry a peasant however pleasant the peasant may be.
felt some felt hats before but of all the felt hats I've ever felt
* Good Goodie Twoshoes took two shoes to the Goody Shoe Shine shoe shop.
* Seven Silly Suave Swans Swam Silently South Seaward
* The big bad baby boy brought the bought black blanket back
* Mr. See had a saw and Mr. Soar owned a seesaw. Now See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw before Soar saw See
* I can think of thin things, six thin things, can you? Yes, I can think of six thin things, and of six thick things too
* Sammy sitting singing, Sought Suzie Shaw, Since Suzie started sobbing Sammy's stopped seeking
* Round and round the rugged rock the ragged rascal ran.
How much caramel can a canny cannibal cram into a camel, if a canny cannibal
can cram caramel into a camel ?
* One one was a race horse, two two was one too. When one one won one race, two two won one too
* Picky people pick Peter Pan Peanut Butter. Peter Pan Peanut is the peanut picky people pick
* A tree toad loved a she-toad, That lived up in a tree. She was a three-toed tree toad, But a two-toed toad was he.
* Fuzzy Wuzzy Was a bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy Had no Hair, Fuzzy Wuzzy wasn't fuzzy, Was he?!
* Mrs. Puggy Wuggy has a square cut punt. Not a punt cut square Just a square cut punt. It's round in the stern and blunt in the front Mrs. Puggy Wuggy has a square cut punt.
* If one doctor doctors another doctor, does the doctor who doctors the doctor doctor the doctor the way the doctor he is doctoring doctors? Or does he doctor the doctor the way the doctor who doctors doctors?
* Three crooked cripples went through Cripple Gate and through Cripple Gate went three crooked cripples
* If you stick a stock of liquor in your locker it is slick to put a lock upon your stock, or some joker who is quicker is gonna trick ya of your liquor if you fail to lock your liquor with a lock!
There were two bootblacks, a white bootblack and a black bootblack and
they were both busy blacking boots. The white bootblack told the black
bootblack to blacken the white bootblack`s boots black.The black bootblack
was taken aback and blackened the whiteboot black`s face black.The white
bootblack blackened the black bootblack`s face black too
* Once upon a barren moor there dwelt a bear also a boar, the bear could not bear the boar, the bear thought the boar a bore. At last that bear could bear no more that boar that bored him on the moor and so one morn' he bored that boar, that boar will boar no more.
* Our Joe wants to know if your Joe will lend our Joe your Joe's banjo.If your Joe won't lend our Joe your Joe's banjo, our Joe won't lend your Joe our Joe's banjo when our Joe has a banjo!
* Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers, a peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked. If Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers, Where's the peck of pickled Peppers Peter piper picked? The peck of pickled peppers that Peter Piper picked, Is where Peter Piper put the peck of pickled peppers that Peter Piper picked.
* Cheerful Charles chose cherry chocolates for Cheri
I saw Esau kissing Kate, And Kate saw I saw Esau,And Esau saw that I saw
* Oh what to do to die today at a minute or two 'til two. A thing distinctly hard to say yet harder still to do. For they'll beat a tattoo at twenty to two. With a rattatta tattatta tattatta too. And the dragon will come when he hears the drum. At a minute or two 'til two today, At a minute or two 'til two
* Big Billy, who had a big belly was a bad big bully.
ten-times-tables takes more time than typing ten-times-two or two-times-tables
or two times ten
* Betty Boughter bought some butter, But she said the butter's bitter, If I put it in my batter, It will make my batter bitter, But a bit of better butter will make it better than the bitter butter, So she bought a bit of better butter, And put it in her batter, And her batter was not bitter, So 'twas Betty Boughter bought a bit of better butter and put it in her batter and her batter was not bitter.
* Singing Sammy sung songs on sinking sand. Sunday smiles shine sunny signs of Spring. Slippery Shawn slid sideways on spikes.
* A fly and a flea in a flue were imprisoned, so what could they do? "let us fly," said the flea "let us flee" said the fly, so they flew through a flaw in the flue.
* Theopholis Sistle, the thistle sifter,sifted a sive full of insisted thistles. Now, if Theopholis Sistle, the thistle sifter,sifted a sive full of insisted thistles, where are the sifted thistles that Theopholis Sistle,the thistle sifter, sifted?
* I am not a pheasant plucker, but a pheasant plucker's son. I am only plucking pheasants 'til the pheasant plucker comes.
A canner, exceedingly canny, one morning remarked to his granny,
* The sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick.
thanks to all the ANONS who have sent me any of the above in