U order online your New Motherboard by 2nd day air and the store you ordered
from is only 2 miles from your house.
* U have a job testing WOW for flats
* I wonder if I can set my laser
printer on stun
try to enter your password on the microwave.
* U now think of three espressos
as "getting wasted."
* U haven't played solitaire with
a real deck of cards in years.
* U have a list of 15 phone numbers
to reach your family of 3.
* Your daughter sells Girl Scout
Cookies via her web site.
* U chat several times a day with
a stranger from South Africa, but you haven't spoken to your next door
neighbor yet this year.
* U didn't give your valentine a
card this year, but you posted one for your email buddies via a Web page.
* The concept of using real money,
instead of internet shopping, to make a purchase is foreign to you.
* Cleaning up the dining area means
getting the fast food bags your computer desk.
* Your reason for not staying in
touch with family is that they do not have e-mail addresses.
* U consider
2nd day air delivery painfully slow.
* U refer to your dining room table
as the flat filing cabinet.
* Your idea of being organized is
keeping 'My Documents' defraged.
* U find you really need PowerPoint
to explain what you do for a living.
* U think a "half-day"
means leaving at 5 o'clock.
* U hear most of your jokes via
email instead of in person.
made your family pics into icons so you can spend time with them
* Your bookmarks takes 15 minutes
to scroll from top to bottom
wife drapes a blond wig over your monitor to remind you of what
she looks like
*U have thought up about 100 smiles
more clever than =(8^)
have to email you about the fire alarm to get you out of the building
night you tell yourself you will not eat tomorrows meals with a fork in
one hand and a mouse in the other
* U turn off
your modem and get this awful empty feeling, as if you just pulled the
plug on a loved one
see a good web design and still have to change it
feel sea-sick and light headed when you finally take those reading glasses
off and try to stand up.
dream in HTML
U find yourself typing "com" after every period when using a
has become your favourite day, back to your free PC with broadband too.
tells you all about his Cressida V6 ; U reply "Yeah, I had V5, but
it was full of bugs!"
refer to going to the bathroom as downloading
holiday was ruined
there was no internet café in town
*U take lunch in your office snacking
with your chat friends .
*U find u can still get butterflies
in your stomach ... the thought of seeing your PC again after your holiday/vacation
have prayers said everytime
your PC dies.
U ask your doctor to implant a gigabyte in
dream of coming back as a cyborg.
remote to the T.V. is missing...and you don't even care.
amazed to find out spam is a food
sat 2 inches in front of your screen with a magnifying lens to see how
they made the colors
* U have owned
a calculator with no equal key and know what RPN stands for
spent consecutive Thursday, Friday and Saturday evenings programming a
*U refer to
your age as 2.x
I.Q. number is bigger than your weight
decide to stay in college for an additional year or two or three, just
for the free Internet access
u can type 70 words a minute but can't read your own handwriting
rotate your screen savers more frequently than your automobile tires
introduce your wife as "firstname.lastname@example.org"
salespeople at Circuit City can't answer any of your questions
wristwatch has more buttons than a telephone
can remember 7 computer passwords but not
spouse sends you an e-mail instead of calling you to dinner
have a functioning home copier machine, but every toaster you own turns
bread into charcoal
wrist watch has more computing power than a 486DX-50
hard drive crashes. U haven't logged in for two hours. U start to twitch.
get a tattoo that says "This body best viewed with Netscape 3.0 or
pick up the phone and manually dial your ISP's access number. You try
to hum to communicate with the modem. U think u succeed
leave the modem speaker on after connecting because you think it sounds
like the ocean wind...the perfect soundtrack for "surfing the net"
don't know what sex over three of your closest friends are, because they
have neutral nicknames
your car crashes through the guardrail on a mountain road, your first
instinct is to search for the "back" button.
code your homework in HTML and give your teacher the URL
friends no longer send you e-mail ... they just log on to your IRC channel
have modified your can-opener to be microprocessor driven
latest saying is "Go ahead, make my data"!
start tilting your head sideways to smile
check your e-mail. It says "no new messages." So you check it
dog & cat have their own home pages and the goldfish's is under construction
U turn on your intercom when leaving the room so you can hear if new e-mail
think people who can't set the clock on the VCR are pathetic?
ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS PRESS THE YES OPTION!!
If you would like to contribute
to this page I am only an email