* U order online your New Motherboard by 2nd day air and the store you ordered from is only 2 miles from your house.
* U have a job testing WOW for f
* I wonder if I can set my laser printer on stun

U try to enter your password on the microwave.
* U now think of three espressos as "getting wasted."
* U haven't played solitaire with a real deck of cards in years.
* U have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.
* Your daughter sells Girl Scout Cookies via her web site.
* U chat several times a day with a stranger from South Africa, but you haven't spoken to your next door neighbor yet this year.
* U didn't give your valentine a card this year, but you posted one for your email buddies via a Web page.
* The concept of using real money, instead of internet shopping, to make a purchase is foreign to you.
* Cleaning up the dining area means getting the fast food bags your computer desk.
* Your reason for not staying in touch with family is that they do not have e-mail addresses.
* U consider 2nd day air delivery painfully slow.
* U refer to your dining room table as the flat filing cabinet.
* Your idea of being organized is keeping 'My Documents' defraged.
* U find you really need PowerPoint to explain what you do for a living.
* U think a "half-day" means leaving at 5 o'clock.
* U hear most of your jokes via email instead of in person.

* U
've made your family pics into icons so you can spend time with them
* Your bookmarks takes 15 minutes to scroll from top to bottom
*Your wife drapes a blond wig over your monitor to remind you of what
she looks like
*U have thought up about 100 smiles more clever than =(8^)
*Co-workers have to email you about the fire alarm to get you out of the building
*Every night you tell yourself you will not eat tomorrows meals with a fork in one hand and a mouse in the other
* U turn off your modem and get this awful empty feeling, as if you just pulled the plug on a loved one
*U see a good web design and still have to change it
*U feel sea-sick and light headed when you finally take those reading glasses off and try to stand up.
*U dream in HTML
* U find yourself typing "com" after every period when using a word processor.com
*Monday has become your favourite day, back to your free PC with broadband too.
*Friend tells you all about his Cressida V6 ; U reply "Yeah, I had V5, but it was full of bugs!"
*U refer to going to the bathroom as downloading
*Your holiday was ruined … there was no internet café in town
*U take lunch in your office snacking with your chat friends .
*U find u can still get butterflies in your stomach ... the thought of seeing your PC again after your holiday/vacation
*U have prayers said everytime your PC dies.
* U ask your doctor to implant a gigabyte in your brain.
*U dream of coming back as a cyborg.
*The remote to the T.V. is missing...and you don't even care.
*You're amazed to find out spam is a food
* U've sat 2 inches in front of your screen with a magnifying lens to see how they made the colors
* U have owned a calculator with no equal key and know what RPN stands for
* U've spent consecutive Thursday, Friday and Saturday evenings programming a computer
*U refer to your age as 2.x
* Your I.Q. number is bigger than your weight
* U decide to stay in college for an additional year or two or three, just for the free Internet access
*If u can type 70 words a minute but can't read your own handwriting
*U rotate your screen savers more frequently than your automobile tires
* U introduce your wife as "mylady@home.wife"
*The salespeople at Circuit City can't answer any of your questions
*Your wristwatch has more buttons than a telephone
*U can remember 7 computer passwords but not your anniversary

*Your spouse sends you an e-mail instead of calling you to dinner
*U have a functioning home copier machine, but every toaster you own turns bread into charcoal
*Your wrist watch has more computing power than a 486DX-50

*Your hard drive crashes. U haven't logged in for two hours. U start to twitch.

*U get a tattoo that says "This body best viewed with Netscape 3.0 or higher."
*U pick up the phone and manually dial your ISP's access number. You try to hum to communicate with the modem. U think u succeed
*U leave the modem speaker on after connecting because you think it sounds like the ocean wind...the perfect soundtrack for "surfing the net"
*U don't know what sex over three of your closest friends are, because they have neutral nicknames
*As your car crashes through the guardrail on a mountain road, your first instinct is to search for the "back" button.
U code your homework in HTML and give your teacher the URL
*Your friends no longer send you e-mail ... they just log on to your IRC channel

U have modified your can-opener to be microprocessor driven
*Your latest saying is "Go ahead, make my data"!
*U start tilting your head sideways to smile
*U check your e-mail. It says "no new messages." So you check it again
*Your dog & cat have their own home pages and the goldfish's is under construction

U turn on your intercom when leaving the room so you can hear if new e-mail arrives?
*U think people who can't set the clock on the VCR are pathetic?


Thanks to Claire for the Pic!

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