A PHIL BRODIE BAND'S FUN PAGE . . ENJOY

. . . 127 CHAT-UP LINES
[some are corny but some are extra funny]

· Nice legs. What time do they open?

· Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money.

· I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your bed rock.

· Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?

· Hi, my name is {name}, how do you like me so far?

· Your body's name must be Visa, because it's everywhere I want to be.

· I may not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you.

· Yo Baby, you be my Dairy Queen, I'll be your Burger King, you treat me right, and I'll do it your way.

· Excuse me, do you have your phone number, I seem to have lost mine.

· I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel room.

· I'm new in town, could I have directions to your house.

· If you were a new hamburger at McDonald's, you would be McGorgeous.

· Nice dress. It'll look better on my bedroom floor.

· Let's do breakfast tomorrow. Should I call you or nudge you?

· If I could rewrite the alphabet, I would put U and I together.

· There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can't take them off you.

· Do you have a map? I just keep on getting lost in your eyes.

· You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.

· That's a nice shirt. Can I talk you out of it?

· There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can't take them off you.

· Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see!

· Was your father a thief? 'Cause someone stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.

· Your daddy must have been a baker, 'cause you've got a nice set of buns.

· Excuse me, but I DO think it's time we met.

· Shall we talk or continue flirting from a distance?

· Is it cold in here, or are you just happy to see me.

· Do you sleep on your stomach? No. Can I?

· Be unique and different, say yes.

· You make me so nervous and flustered, I've completely forgotten my standard pick-up line.

· Do you have a map? I just keep on getting lost in your eyes.

· Is it that cold out or are you just smuggling tic-tac's.

· Excuse me I lost my teddy bear will you sleep with me tonight.

· If you were a buger I would pick you first.

· You: Can I borrow a quarter? She: why? ( if she says sure or something else get her to ask you why) You: so I can call my mom and tell her I just met the girl of my dreams. (have something quick to say afterwards)

· Are your pants from outer space? 'cause your butt is out of this world.

· He: Excuse me, want to dance? She: No. He: Maybe you didn't hear me ... I said you look really fat in those pants!

· He : Hey Baby ... Wanna dance? She : No. He : Oh, C'mon! Lower you're standards a little. I did...

· He : Hey, Stop! She : What? He : You're undressing me with your eyes... I know you're doing it. STOP!

· Are you a parking ticket? 'cause you got fine-fine-fine written all over ya.

· I lost my phone number. Can I borrow yours?

· What is a slutty girl like you doing in a classy place like this? OOPS! I mean, what is nice girl like you doing in a dump like this? (Phew)

· Hi, my name's {name}. Remember it, you'll be screaming it later tonight!

· My name is {name}, but you can call me anything at all. Just call me.

· I can't wait until tomorrow. She replys why not. You say cause you look better everyday.

· Baby, you must be a broom, cause you just swept me off my feet.

· Baby, you're so sweet, you put Hershey's outta business.

· Did the sun come out or did you just smile at me?

· If I said you had a great body, would you hold it against me?

· Wow! Are those real?

· Girl, you must be tired 'cause you've been running through my mind all day!

· If I let you suck on my tongue would you be greatful?

· Are you tired? Cause you've been running through my mind all day!

· If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together!

· I must be in heaven cause I've seen an angel.

· Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?

· Are you a surgeon? CAuse you've just took my heart away!

· Have I seen you before? OH yeah it was in the dictionary under the word KABLAM!!

· There must be a keg in your pants, cuz I want to tap that ass.

· You're like milk, I want to make you a part of my complete breakfast.

· My pickup line was published on the Internet... Would you like to hear it.

· Hey gorgeous the power company is looking for you you're so electrifying.

· I'm not actually this tall. I'm sitting on my wallet.

· Excuse me, but I think I dropped something!!! MY JAW!!

· Is your name Gillette? ...because you're the best a man can get.

· I want to melt in your mouth, not in your hand.

· As you walk by, turn around and say: Excuse me, did you just touch my ass? No. Damn!

· I know milk does a body good, but damn girl, how much have you been drinking?

· You with those curves, and me with no brakes ...

· Damn girl, you have more curves than a race track.

· Hi, I make more money than you can spend.

· Bond. James Bond

· Excuse me, miss, do you give head to strangers? No. Well, then, allow me to introduce myself.

· I'm not wearing any pants.

· True, there are a lot of fish in the sea, but you're the only one I'd like to catch and mount back at my place.

· Nice Shoes. Wanna fuck?

· Screw me if I am wrong, but haven't we met before?

· Screw me if I am wrong, but you want to screw me, don't you?

· Screw me if I'm wrong, but isn't your name Pocahontas?

· I'd like to wrap your legs around my head and wear you like a feed bag.

· I love the way you move...like butter on a bald monkey.

· You remind me of my Grandma except I haven't slept with you yet.

· You stole my heart. But that's okay; I have another one at home in the fridge.

· Do you just wanna get naked?

· Do you work for UPS? 'Cause I swear I saw you checking out my package!

· Why do I have a pierced tongue? You'll soon find out.

· Are you free tonight or is it gonna cost me?

· How do you like your eggs cooked? Why? Well I just wanted know what to make for you in the morning!

· If I pet you, would you follow me home?

· Cold out isn't it? (staring at breasts)

· Do you have a mirror in your pocket? (Why?) 'Cause I could see myself in your pants.

· Do you know the difference between a hamburger and a blow job? No! Well in that case, D'ya wanna do lunch?

· Come on baby, sex is like pizza: Even if it's bad, it's still pretty good.

· Do you wanna have kids with me??? No? Then do you just wanna practice?

· I wish you were a carousel at Wal-Mart so I could ride you all day long for just a quarter!!

· Aw, girl, I'm gonna have to put you on my "To Do" List!

· Save a horse -- ride a cowboy.

· Hey baby, will you be my love buffet so I can lay you on the table and take what I want?

· You know, it's not premarital sex unless you plan on getting married.

· Hi, I make more money than you can spend.

· I'd walk a million miles for one of your smiles, and even farther for that thing you do with your tongue.

· The only thing your eyes haven't told me is your name.

· If I were to ask you for sex, would your answer be the same as the answer to this question?

· Excuse me, I just noticed you noticing me and I just wanted to give you notice that I noticed you too.

· Your eyes are as blue as window cleaner.

· Hey babe, how about a pizza and some sex? [Slap] HEY! What's wrong, you don't like pizza?

· I'm going to have sex with you tonight no matter what so you might as well be there.

· How about you sit on my lap and we'll see what pops up?

· Can I flirt with you?

· I admit, I'm kind of a geek by day... But a sex machine by night!

· You have been very naughty! Go to my room!

· Mmmm, you bring new meaning to the word "edible".

· Hey babe, do you realize that my mouth can generate over 750 psi?

· Hey babe, wanna get LUCKY!?!?!!

· Sex is a killer...want to die happy?

· Hi! Can I buy you a car?

· I had sex with someone last night. Was that you?

· If you stood in front of a mirror and help up 11 roses, you would see 12 of the most beautiful things in the world.

· Most people like to watch the (i.e. World Cup, Stanley Cup, Superbowl, NBA playoffs, etc..) cuz it only happens once a year/every 4 years, but I'd rather talk to you cause the chance of meeting someone like you only happens once in a lifetime.

· Did it hurt? (What?) When you fell from heaven ... Did it hurt?

· You look like a hooker I knew in Fresno.

· You're ugly but you intrigue me.

· Hey baby...infect me!

· Picture this, you, me, bubble baths, and a bottle of champagne.

· No, I'm not a cop. What can I get for fifty bucks?

· Be unique and different, say yes.

· If you ever want to see your children again, you'll do what I want.

· Inheriting eighty million bucks doesn't mean much when you have a weak heart.

DUMB QUOTES . . A THOUGHT . . MORE QUOTES